Issue 13: Retcon Sluttiness

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Nerd Week

What a great, or not so great week in comic fandom. First of all we got the second Superman Returns Trailer and also an X3 Clip of a Sentinel. I'd have to say that Superman is looking impressive. Just simple things like using the classic John Williams theme, and making a simple moment between Lois and Clark flying around the Daily Planet sends chills up my spine. I'm a bit worried about the action in the movie though. Ever since Matrix Revolutions I've been dying to see the Neo vs. Smith fight, except with Superman and a Power Armor Luthor. It doesn't look like such a scene is going to fit into the theme of this movie. Still from the trailers, if the only challenge that Superman faces is a falling plane and a chain gun, I'm going to be severely disappointed.

Back to X3... I don't know what to think about that scene. Sure we've been waiting forever to see a Sentinel and a Fastball special, but it just didn't seem like this clip captured the moment at all. We never see a full Sentinel, and Colossus tossing Wolverine seems ludicrous in real life. The Fastball Special in Astonishing X-Men brought a tear to my eye...the one in the clip did too...but for the wrong reasons. I'm still hoping with all my heart that it'll be a good movie, but it just seems like Brett Ratner doesn't respect the source material at all.

On to comics, we saw the end to Infinite Crisis, and the beginning of Civil War. I've concluded that the ending to Infinite Crisis was underwhelming. After spending a year (or so?) building up to this event, I just expected more. It also bugs me that so many things happened outside of the core seven issues, that I had no idea what was going on many times. All in all, it was a fun read but anytime you start tossing around cosmic weirdness and screwing with continuity I get a headache. I guess it's not even over now, cause we still have One Year Later and 52.

Civil War #1 debuted this week as well. I'd like to say that Ultimate Captain America has rapidly become one of the most badass superheroes in the comic universe. Civil War #1 did a lot to convince me that 616-Cap is just as badass. Still I like the fact that the series doesn't have reality warping powers, or alternate heroes from another dimension punching time. It's nice to have a crossover grounded in reality.

As real as a man with the proportionate strength of a spider can be.


So I only recently read the arc of Amazing Spider-Man where Spidey's attacked by the twin illegitimate children of Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborne, who grow faster than Robin Williams in Jack. Considering that only about 5 years of comic time have passed, they had to make them grow to full-age somehow. Forget vegetables, kiddies, eat your irradiated goblin blood. To be fair, I'd like to think that while Gwen was being passed around Spider-Man's villains like the Captain Universe powers, she hooked up with Shocker before that geriatric Vulture. The only reason I can come up with, however, is the obvious double entendre.

I'm really excited for X3 and Superman Returns. It'll be such a nice superhero breather from Smallville, which goes on and on, teasing us with Zod but instead giving us Lexmas and ripoffs of Saw. I think the only reason I keep watching is because I want to see Bizarro in it. Instead all I get is Lana-is mad at Clark for not being honest while he still loves her but can't be with her instead fights Kryptonite villain number 513 and Chloe drops some well known Superman quote or reference while working at the Daily Planet and Lex obsesses about whatever and Lionel loves Martha while emo band of the week's song plays. At least there weren't witches this season.


When I grow up I want to be Jewbacca. is a digital parody comic about Comic Book Characters. The original characters are owned by Marvel, DC and other respective copyright owners. PassFailStudios uses the names and images of these figures for the purposes of satire. The opinions and words expressed on this site should not be construed as text from Marvel or DC comics.